<SLY> Vampire Queen JemCalanon slips out of the once again empty bed and over to the window. Pushing it open, Jem leans against the rails, her head in her hands and deep in thought. This was getting out of control. Way out of control. She missed her kids, she missed Kel, but most of all she missed Coran and lately all she had been doing was dreaming of him. Tears rolled down her cheeks and she watched then drop the three storeys and hears them splash on the ground as she thought of tonights dream. She kept reliving the day he died. For weeks now it was all she had been able to dream of. From all angles, Corans persepective; even the men that killed him as she heard her first born beg for them no to. She heard them tell him his parents didnt want anything to do with him, which was a lie of course. Jem loved him. He was her first born and she would have done anything to save him, had she been there herself. In her dreams, she screamed warnings to him that they were coming but he couldnt hear her. She tried to pull him away and her hand went through him as if he were a ghost. But it was her who was a ghost, an intruder. Jem buries her face in her hands, sinking to the floor, her body shaking as she leant against the rails, crying silently, still mourning the loss of her son, the son who saved Crevens life when he almost died, the son who was compelled to kill Corbin because she didnt take the time to train him how to fight against it. Out loud she blamed everyone else, but inside she beat herself up everyday, knowing it was her fault he was weak, he was dead. Shaking her head, she wipes her eyes, staring at the empty bed. She had stayed here for almost a month now, No one knew where Creven, Lea, Queran, Seth and Kana had disappeared to. The wedding plans of Kana and Marriah were on hold for a while and Marriah had gone back to Olympus for a while. Jem had caught her thoughts a few days before she had left as she was writing up a guest list. She wanted her best friend there, her brother, yet there was nothing anyone could do to get him there. The Gods refused, Marriah didnt have the magic to bring a ghost back, even for a day. Jem had seen the guest list and sobbed at how much her daughter was missing Coran. His name has been placed at the head table, inbetween Jem and Marriah for the meal. For the wedding itself, she had wanted Creven to walk her down the aisle and hand her to Coran. Tear stained paper had been places on the church layout with crossed out names all around the alter. A big cross was through it att and a note stating she didnt want this big wedding anymore. The wedding she wanted would never happen as she wanted it. Kana had found the engagement ring on the bed with a letter saying she couldnt get married without Coran there and that would never happen cos he was dead and if there was a way they could get him there in ghost form, her daddy wouldnt be there. Kana had stared at the letter for days, at a loss of what to do until he disappeared with the others, not a word to Jem about where they were going,so once again, she had to sit, stay at home, be a good wife, sister in law, friend and mother and not do anything stupid and reckless. Jem scoffed, shaking her head. She wouldnt even know the first place too look to find any of them. Closing her eyes, she tried to find Crevens mind in the sea of minds, as far as she could reach. Crying silent tears, Jem makes her way back inside and back to the bed, falling into a deep sleep, dreaming once again of Corans death from another perspective, still crying in her sleep.
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